JANE MCBRIDE: Can't help but see irony in self-help

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Articles > Others > JANE MCBRIDE: Can't help but see irony in self-help

Published by Nitin_shah on 2007/12/31 (64 reads)

Got a problem? Buy a book.

I suppose we have Dale Carnegie to thank for the endless line of self-help books on store shelves. His popular "How to Win Friends and Influence People" went to press 71 years ago.

Today, the genre offers books that promise to solve any problem, no matter how great or small.

"Get It Done When You're Depressed: 50 Strategies for Keeping Your Life on Track," for example, assures us we can "learn how to ... go to bed feeling better than when the day began."

That's easy for those of us who wake up as groggy as a hibernating bear (and as grouchy, my husband would say). It's all uphill from the moment feet hit the floor.

While I'm sure the book is serious about its purpose, and pun or no pun, depression certainly is no laughing matter, I couldn't help but laugh at the mental images provoked by some of the tips the author gives.

Like: "Don't Wait Until You Want to Do Something (to do it)."

As if any homemaker "wants" to scrub dried egg yolk from the tile backsplash or retrieve grungy clothes from her sports-playing son's bedroom closet.

If I waited until I "wanted" to do things, I'd be sitting at home in the dark, hungry and naked, and wishing I had a car to drive to work to pick up my pink slip.

I also liked "Wait Until You Finish Your Work to Judge It."

Those of us with perfectionist tendencies and imperfect abilities do tend to step back every few minutes, look at our work and say, "That stinks."

I'm not sure waiting until the end product stares us in the face is going to be any better. Sure, you have to wait until a job is completed before you get the overall picture, but a course correction sometimes can save the day.

My favorite of all the tips is "Praise Yourself All Day."

If I tried that, my day would go something like this: "Jane, your hair looks great! Don't worry about those strands that look like they got caught in a pannini press. You are beautiful, you are beautiful, you are beautiful."

Or, standing in front of a mirror: "Oooh, look at you in that pretty new suit. Sure, the buttonholes over your belly are stretched out and the zipper on the pants looks like two dogs are playing tug of war, but the color really suits you."

I see nothing but a bad ending with such tactics, with an inner dialogue like this:

"I am beautiful. I am smart. I have a great sense of humor."

"No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you don't."

"I am pretty. I am not entirely stupid. I am funny on occasion."

"No, no and hahahahaha."

"I'm not ugly. I'm not stupid. I'm not a sourpuss."

"Whatever..."

It takes me back to the days when we walked around murmuring to ourselves, "I'm OK. You're OK. I'm OK. You're OK."

You are OK, by the way, even if I'm not.

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